Poems+of+the+Day

Line and stanza breaks: think about them!!!!

Throat scorched. Chest burning. Fast jogging. Keep up, keep up-- two hundred meters behind. Breath fast. Breath shallow. I'm short distance. Thought I was on a roll: beat my time in hurdles, beat my height in high jump.

Last lap. Breath fire. Finish hard. Last to cross but get my time.

Win.

--//James Morill// //**The Swingset**//

Wood rots, ropes fray, metal rusts,

memories stay.

It stands there deserted in the midst of many times climbed and swung from

Sometimes it was a ship escaping from the storm. Other times, many times, it was the Saab convertible a friend and I drove to McDonald's.

Now years of playing cease. It's just the goal for flashlight tag, where people sulk after losing or preen after winning

At times I want to shed my childhood, but somehow I can't cart it away to the dump, where swingsets are shredded, where times past can't ever return.

--//Grace Walton//

Revision In Action:


 * //My Brother (Draft 1)//**

My brother is a great guy who lives in Scotland. His dark hair and glasses make him look like my evil twin. He plays the drums and sings in a band.

When he comes home at Christmas time I am overjoyed. We talk about our lives like old friends. I am always sad to see him go.

//What can be improved about this draft? First off, it doesn't really capture a scene, and it spends too much time "telling" the reader about my brother, instead of "showing" me something about our relationship by setting up a specific and meaningful scene. Now read Draft 2://

//**My Brother (Draft 2)**//

A late flight arrives  At the Fredericton airport. I wait with anticipation  For the plane to land. My brother gets off the plane  Into the cold night air. I watch him walk  Towards me and smile. He passes the security guard  And drops his carry-on bag. “Hey brother!” he says  And gives me a hug. I feel like a kid on Santa’s knee,  which seems fitting: it’s Christmas, after all. And this is the first time Matt’s been home  Since January. The car ride home  Is filled with excited chatter,   Which continues long after   We get home. We make up for lost time  Sharing stories, drinking tea. We have to be quick,  Because he’s never home for long. In a few short days we will be back  At the Fredericton airport. Joking with each other  To hide our sadness.


 * //Excerpts from soon-to-be Poems of the Day://**

__Strong Imagery, Descriptive Detail, and Purposeful Word Choice__

“The worries in the eyes of every fan watching.” - On Game 7 Canucks vs. Bruins

“Riding bikes, wearing flip-flops” - On summer

“I twist your black-taped blade around the puck” - On hockey

"As the fish sparkles It hops off my rod  and jumps at my toes." - On fishing

“When Mom comes in she usually hovers” - On family

“With blue and white paint, Grippy pedals, a low seat, And high handlebars” - on the poet’s BMX bike

“As my sisters stub their toes You can hear their cries from miles away” - On running up the stairs

“As my eyes open wider, my eyebrows raise” - On eyebrows (!)

“With EXTRA marshmallows Slowly melting into a sweet cream” - On the first cup of hot cocoa of the season

“The bell dings Her ears perk forward” - On showing horses

“He hides under the couch when he does something bad” - On the poet’s pet dog

“I feel my arms go loose” - On floating downstream after a river swim

“You swallow spit as you hear people screaming” - On standing in line for an amusement park ride

“toes to toes, eyelash to eyelash” - On romance

“I jump and kick my legs high One leg bent and then the other” - On dancing

“I get my game face on As my fingers tickle” - On getting ready to play Call of Duty

__Metaphors, etc.__ “He is a prancing deer” - On the poet’s pet dog

“kitten-soft lips” - On a boy’s lips

“Picnic-ing atop cupcakes” - On gummy bears

“Under the pillow the field of dreams comes back to life” - On dreams

“Each bite is a golden delight” - On Twinkies

“As the willow sways and weeps The sunset puts my tears to sleep” - On an emotional walk through nature

“In Spring your little arms and legs start to peek out” - On a flower blooming

“The parking lot is an endless road” - On the parking lot at Canada’s Wonderland

“Gray fluff balls cover the sun” - On a rainstorm

“School is when you’re caught on fire and you just can’t find that bucket of water” - On school

“You are the medicine to my sickness I have you stored away for a special day” - On the poet’s pet

“We talk about our sunburns But remember our time at the beach” - On going to the beach

__Similes__

“It streaks through the sky Like a shark in the water Searching for it’s prey” - On the XMP-41 Stealth model fighter jet

“He skates like fire” “Makes the goalie look like Swiss cheese” - On Patrick Kane

“She gobbles up her canned tuna Like it’s a big juicy steak” - On the poet’s pet cat

“It feels like we are in a 3D Movie Theatre” - On four-wheeling

“You hit the water like a nice cold glass of ice-tea” - On swimming

“It’s like riding an emu to the edge of the universe” - On playing Call of Duty

“A red light goes on like the light on a police car” - On scoring a goal in hockey

“As sweet as our creamsicles on a scorching hot summer day” - On the poet’s baby brother

“Silent to the world like the trees that surround us” - On donkeys

“Running down the court believing you’re in a marathon a few moments from winning” - On playing basketball

“CRASH! You hit the pigs like a grenade of feathers” - On “Angry Birds”

“I feel like a charmed snake: confused and amazed” - On seeing a COMPLETE DOUBLE RAINBOW

//Some questions// //to ask yourselves as we get into the REVISION process.//


 * What lines and images paint a picture in my head, and say exactly what i mean in an interesting and descriptive way?**


 * What lines and images can be improved upon?**


 * Where can I be more specific?**


 * Where can I be more descriptive?**


 * Where can I convey the emotions that I feel about my subject?**


 * How can I "re-vision" my topic? That is to say: how can I see my topic in a new way, or from a fresh perspective?**


 * //_//**

__**//Ping-Pong Alfresco//**__

__I grab my paddle__ __and slam out the door.__ __My brother and I take our sides__ __and prepare for the match.__ __To see who serves,__ __I spin the paddle--__ __the paddle with electrical tape__ __wrapped around the handle,__ __the paddle covered__ __with scrapes and tears__ __from various "incidents."__

__I serve the ball__ __over the wooden net__ __and onto the grooved table__ __fashioned from__ __two sawhorses__ __and two old doors__ __we found behind the house,__ __which creates crazy ricochets__ __as we play.__

__I wait for a real__ __Ping-Pong table,__ __one with a reliable surface__ __and soft net__ __one with official lines__ __and even sides,__ __one that's actually green.__ __But until then__

__this one's perfect.__

__--//Cameron Blake//__

April 17th, 2012


 * //Dandelion Wars//**

I gaze upon the army: hundreds of yellow heads. Although they stand just three inches tall, I know they are deadly. I draw my sword from my sheath. I, King Lord Sir Mr. Al Bob, take no prisoners.

As the head pops off the first man, I smile a mean smile, then glare at my next target. After a wild battle scream, head number two sails through the air. I'm on a roll. I throw my sword high in the air to show off my skills, only to have it land on my foot.

I lie on the lawn, pretending to be dead. "They'll never guess this," I whisper with a grin. Then I jump up, grab my sword, and put on my best pose. I can tell they're shaking in their shoes. I begin to hum my war song, emphasizing a note whenever a head flies. I, King Lord Sir Mr. Al Bob, take no prisoners.

Finally, the battle is over. I give the falling bodies my signature look-- frightening frown, eyes narrowed, ears back-- accompanied by a short grunt as I exit on my steed. I, King Lord Sir Mr. Al Bob, take no prisoners.

Now I watch my little brother kill dandelions with Mother's broom, hum Wishbone's theme song, and ride away on a tree branch. I shake my head and think, "What the heck are you doing?" But then I remember the dandelion wars, how I thought I was tough when I popped off the head of a weed.

And I miss it.

So I throw on a jacket and some shoes, grab a broom, and head outside to join Eoin for a taste of my childhood. I, King Lord Sir Mr. Al Bob, still take no prisoners.

--//Liam Anderson//

Describe in no more than three sentences the action (what happened) in the poem. What sort of details does Liam include to bring the story to life?

_

April 16th, 2012

//**Homemade Swimming Hole**//

I clamber up the ladder, its cold metal bars slippery from previous jumps I grab the soft white rope high in hand, pick up my feet, and time stops before I plunge into chocolate water.

Seconds later I resurface. Moist evening air surrounds me as I float on my back, bewitched by a darkening sky. I am twelve. There is no better place on Earth.

//--Michael Stoltz//

Please answer the following questions in the discussion section:

What are the "best" words in this poem (i.e., which ones take you to Michael's swimming hole and draw you in to the action)?

What is the "point" of this poem? Why do you think Michael wrote it?